Expectations

I have an uplifting secret about body image and self esteem.

Conforming to society's expectations of beauty is not, never has been, and never will be, "cool."

Let's take a look at this statement, shall we?

Being "cool" is not fitting in. Being "cool" is not obeying every rule. 

Being cool is standing out.

Since when do punk rockers obey society's laws?

Since when do gangsters care about meeting society's high expectations?

Since when do divas and hustlers dress according to vogue? Or put on weight to meet other's standards?

I am not saying that being punk rock or being a diva is cool; What I am saying is that they do not care about what society says about fashion and appearance and they work it.

You can picture the style and swag of these groups of people effortlessly, and none of them gives a fuck about what society will think.

So next time you look in the mirror and feel inadequate, think: What would Keith Richards do? What would Eminem do? Ozzy Osbourne? Snoop? 

Say fuck it. 

Dress how you want to dress. 

Look how you want to look.

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Back to School

I want to start by wishing everyone a happy semester ahead! Going back to school can be stressful, but let us take the time to realize just how fleeting and fun this time truly is.

Sure, homework sucks. Tests suck. Studying sucks.
But what is better than seeing your friends everyday?
What is better than delving into a topic of your interest?
What is better than succeeding at something you love?

You do not always excel at school (most of the time I am just barely getting by myself!) But it is the adventure that is the true success in your life. Regardless of the grade you receive at the end of the class, simply learning and thriving means you have succeeded.
Do not let every C or D control your life. 
Do not let every all-nighter and difficult test kill your spirit.
The academia of school is not all that matters; the experience is just as important. Remember as you are taking your SATs, writing an essay, or signing up for your college classes, that this is your life! It is happening at this very moment, good or bad. If you need to, put down your pencil. Take a look around. This is your life. Enjoy it!

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Living Sucide.

       I hate to constantly bring up my past and speak about the dark moments that have occurred in my life but I feel as if those are the moments that really define my future and who I am today. For the past couple of years, I have been battling with eating disorders, school, my social relationships, and most importantly, myself.
       I have tried everything to get better from counseling, hobbies, therapy to advice columns and more but  nothing has sufficed. Basically, I am at the point in my life where I have given up internally,  yet I am still here on this earth. I call it a living suicide. That moment in your life where you exist but you are not living. Physically, you may be there in form but mentally,you're dead.
         I am not sure if I will ever really get better because no matter how many times I have cried or I have pleaded for help and for change, I have always found myself in the same position I was in the day before. I have heard of people who have suffered with this  for years and I can't imagine being in the same position I am in now for years to come. My heart has become so heavy and I have become so emotional and this type of pain has taken away such joyful moments in my life and life, in general, for me.
          I am sorry if this post was a little more depressing than usual and I am not really sure where I was going with this. I just wanted to be able to just write out my feelings because I believe that  it is good to reflect on your past sometimes especially when your past is still affecting your present and future. So through it all, I hope to only become stronger and one day, I hope to conquer this battle occurring in my life and I hope to finally be able to go back to truly living.

To all those who are fighting and may feel alone, I only hope that you, too, continue to fight because although the battle may be long and exhausting, there is an end an it will eventually be okay because if it is not okay, it is not over. I am here with you.

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Travel

Tomorrow I leave for vacation in Europe.

 I love traveling.
The smells, the food, the cultures, the people, the sights, the packing, the airports. Everything is different, but so unique that it has its own charm and luxury. For that one week you are on vacation, so many everyday problems disappear. Traveling is both an escape and an exploration.
I have had the privilege of visiting many countries around the world, but I will never lose my thirst for traveling. So often, I feel that people focus on visiting the major cities and important first-world nations around the world, but there is so much more to Earth than fine architecture and luxurious hotels.
I want to visit Africa- go on a safari in the Serengeti. I want to stay in South America- go hiking in the Andes mountains. I want to travel to India and learn the secrets of the busy, poor villages. Visit Turkey, and see where the Middle East meets Eastern Europe.
However, so much of the world is unsafe for women to travel. All of the world, including places in my home the United States of America, it is completely delusional for a girl to visit unaccompanied by a man. There is the risk of robbery, rape, mugging, cat calling, or even murder.
Feeling unsafe in a new city is not the proper way to explore.
I want to travel, and I do not want to be restricted by the possibility of a man attacking me.

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