College Days Swiftly Pass

College Days Swiftly Pass.

       Now that I am in my second year of college, I can notice how crazy it is how much has happened to me from last year until now. I have learned so much about myself, as far as my strengths and weaknesses. During my freshmen year, I battled challenged upon challenge. My identity, my confidence, family, friends, and even GPA. I was out of control. I had no idea what was happening to myself and what was happening around me.

       Every day was a new issue for me: whether it was my crush who never seemed to notice me, the girls who never seemed to acknowledge me, or the classes that never seemed to interest me. Nothing changed, no matter how many times I tried to start over and be optimistic, when it came to my daily conquest to change the world just as my fellow college students. But how can we change the world when we have not even changed ourselves?

       As college students, we are expected to enter school knowing our future and what we want to do but there is a major flaw with that expectation: we do not even know who we are yet. We are just now learning about our abilities, about our limits, about our life. We cannot be forced to decide the rest of our lives if we have not even begun to live it yet. 

       Most freshmen like myself  experience a rough first year of college. The American College Health Association found that about 30 percent of college students reported feeling "so depressed that it was difficult to function" at some time in their first year. Being that we are only young adults, and given all the freedom we have just acquired, it is hard not to become depressed. We are placed in a massive environment where all we have is ourselves, but we do not know who we are yet. The loneliness can be so nauseating that you become weak by the darkness.
       
       Thus, my advice for all incoming freshmen and college students, in general, is to invest time in yourself. Do not spend your entire four years stressed about your major and future because how can you have a future if you are lost in the present? The most successful people in the world are the ones who understand themselves and what they want, because it is then and only then that they are able to fuel their success with pure passion. So, go out and enjoy yourself. Go out at midnight on a school night just because you think it will be fun, or watch movies simply to satisfy your curiosity. Do it because you are young and you deserve these years to not care and find out who you are instead of killing yourself trying to get the grades you want. Do it all with no regrets because college days swiftly pass.

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What he thinks

He thinks she is funnier than I am.

He thinks she is more attractive. 

He thinks she is more intelligent.

And he thinks I am just a friend.

There are so many girls or boys all over the world that he is going to find better than me. And I have to accept that. I have accept that I will never be the funniest, prettiest, smartest, most amazing girl in his world, completely regardless of the the fact that he is the funniest, prettiest, smartest, and most amazing boy in mine. And I have to accept this.

I am sorry for venting, but I think of this blog as an outlet. I hope that you can use Anonymous in this way as well.

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Stress

Hey girls, it is getting to that point in the school year where exams start popping up, where work is being assigned left and right, where teachers are grading harder, and you are getting stressed.

There are a lot of ways to handle being stressed...

Take a break, eat a snack, a short nap, listening to music, doing something fun.

And instead of beating yourself up over your lack of calm, try your best to incorporate these tendencies into your scheduled life.
Study, snack. Read, nap. Homework, fun.
Life is a conglomerate of hundreds of activities and finding the proper balance between them is what makes life easier. Do not let your life flash by in a wave of schoolwork and tension; enjoy it.

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STIs

By this point in my life, I have had at least two friends succumb to the embarrassment and stress of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.

I am not a health teacher here to warn you against the dangers of STI's; I am here to support and guide you if you ever find yourself caught in this predicament.

First, know that, for a majority of infections, there is a cure. My friend with the awful experience of contracting Chlamydia was able to cure herself within one week.

Second, know that it is possible to contract an STI while wearing protection. (Just ask my friend!) This means that it is very important to communicate with your partner about your health. Just think- what if it was not Chlamydia, but HIV? As I am sure you are aware, there is no available and reliable cure.

Third, know that your true friends will help you through it, whether that means driving you somewhere you need to go or researching help. If you have good friends, you automatically have support. Use them to help you!

Fourth, always know you can use this forum as a resource! We can help you.

Now go out and have fun, but be smart!

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Mind fuck

Hey guys, on a more philosophical side, I want to introduce you to an idea that I think about very often myself: Personal, physical reality is not the true reality.

What is she saying?

Think of this way:

• Every person experiences their own physical reality. 

examples: 1. He kissed me. 2. That tree fell down by itself. 

• Everyone's physical reality is actually what is happening inside of their mind.

examples: 1. I am too shy to start the kiss; he must have. 2. I did not see anything bombard the tree; it must be a natural failure.

• Everyone's physical reality is different from one another.

examples: 1. She kissed me. 2. The tree was knocked over by something.

• At any time, there are at least 2, but potentially thousands of different realities.

examples: 1. The kissed each other / They bumped into one another / How cute/ Ew, PDA. 2. The tree was supposed to fall down / The tree was cut down / The tree was sick / The tree was attacked.

• SO the true reality is mental, not physical.

No matter what happens in "real life," what we process ourselves is what is happening in our life.

Why?

Perceptions

Opinions

Prior knowledge

Prejudice

and tons more...

So everyone enjoy your mental reality and enjoy this mind fuck.

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Gossip

"Jealousy is the sincerest form of flattery."

And don't you forget it!

Girls tend to trash talk each other like nobody's business. Spreading rumors, starting lies, gossiping about one another. Almost always, this endless chatter is negative, and it truly hurts people. I myself have been the recipient of several malicious comments. 

I am here to tell you not to let other people's words affect you.

You have probably heard the famous saying, "What Susie says of Sally, says more of Susie than of Sally." This is 100% true.

If you have ever been victimized by this vulgar form of bullying, I am sorry.

And if you have ever found yourself being the one to trash talk others, it is time to grow up.

In an age riddled with bullying, you do not want to find yourself on the wrong side of this argument. Besides, does making fun of other's make you any better? No. In fact, it actually makes you a less decent person.

Furthermore, this divisive action is not only taken by women; boys can be master manipulators by the word of mouth. In some situations, what boys say can be even worse!  

Girls: watch out. People will try to drag you down, but you do not belong there. Rise above.

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College

Us here at Anonymous have both been in college for a couple of years now. We know the ropes and are here to help you transition smoothly through this amazing time.


Both of us agree that college automatically and wondrously surpasses high school, middle school, or any other school experience we have had. Forget the drama, forget waking up at the crack of dawn every day, forget the daily tedium. College sets you free!

You are allowed to choose your own classes, select a major, live on your own, and party as much as you want. Even if you are not into partying, there are clubs, sports, extracurricular activities. You are sure to find people interested in the same things as you!

Sure, not every aspect of the college life is amazing...

• Be prepared for dorm rooms half the size of your room at home.
• Be prepared for living with someone with whom you do not get along.
• Prepare yourself for studying all night long and eating chicken tenders every night.
• Prepare yourself for people talking about sex. A lot. 
• And if you are one of those party people, prepare yourself for surprise hospitals visits to support a friend that drank way too much.

If you have questions or comments about majors, about what an RA is, about frat parties, or anything else you can think of...

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Divorce

I am a child of divorce and I have to tell you that it is one of the most challenging circumstances from which to recover, in a a variety of painful ways.

No one really covers the effects of a broken home in a thoughtful way. Well, for all of you that have suffered through the misfortune of having a split family, I am here for you.

When I was ten, it happened once and I had no idea what was happening within my own family. No one around me said the word, yet everyone was splitting up and going different ways. I was not even living in the same house in which I had grown up.
When I was fifteen, it happened for real. The word was said and there was absolutely no turning back.

Everyone will have a different experience with divorce. I had a friend who thought that if this makes her parents happy then it must be a good thing. If only I could have that mentality.

I felt rejected and alone, heart broken and sad, unwanted and meaningless, embarrassed and frightened. Sometimes, thinking about all of the pain caused and suffered, I still feel that way.

Girls, hang in there.


Try to take relief in the fact that hopefully you do not have to listen to your parents fight anymore. You do not have to change lives. Maybe some members of your family are more happy.

Though I feel like a hypocrite writing these words, I want you to know that, despite what your heart might tell you, you will not die of pain and sadness. It is an extremely trying time, but you can get through it.


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"Weird"

I would like to argue that there is no such thing as "weird." You are you.

If you have ever been called weird or strange, an outcast or a loser- what were the reasons behind this? Was it because you dressed differently? Acted differently? Enjoyed different activities?

What so many people fail to realize is that everyone is DIFFERENT.

And, instead of ostracizing people based on these characteristics, enjoy it! You may only meet one person who enjoys putting peanut butter on celery; they are not weird. What if you never see a boy with long hair again? Never hear a girl with a low, raspy voice talk?
Everyone is unique and what makes one unique does not make one weird.

I encourage you to look for the differences in people and celebrate them. For, if that one person receives too much negative hate for their personal characteristic, what is so interesting to the world might become a nuisance to that individual. And the effect of this would be disastrous: conformity.
Embrace different hair styles and music taste, just as one should respect varying skin colors and sexualities.

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Expectations

I have an uplifting secret about body image and self esteem.

Conforming to society's expectations of beauty is not, never has been, and never will be, "cool."

Let's take a look at this statement, shall we?

Being "cool" is not fitting in. Being "cool" is not obeying every rule. 

Being cool is standing out.

Since when do punk rockers obey society's laws?

Since when do gangsters care about meeting society's high expectations?

Since when do divas and hustlers dress according to vogue? Or put on weight to meet other's standards?

I am not saying that being punk rock or being a diva is cool; What I am saying is that they do not care about what society says about fashion and appearance and they work it.

You can picture the style and swag of these groups of people effortlessly, and none of them gives a fuck about what society will think.

So next time you look in the mirror and feel inadequate, think: What would Keith Richards do? What would Eminem do? Ozzy Osbourne? Snoop? 

Say fuck it. 

Dress how you want to dress. 

Look how you want to look.

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